The title is taken from the song " Manni 2elak" by soap kills
Something is seriously wrong with me.
I drive alone back from mohandessin (about 30 min drive) and during the drive my thoughts drift to R who my last talk with was over a year ago and my last physical contact was 3-4 years ago, the only reason for these thoughts? A song
As much as I hate admitting it, she was one of my most influential experiences, and one of the few ones which helped shape my current character
The thing that I remembered yesterday was our late night telephone conversations, which led me to think about how we met and why we met
(R) was known for liking bad boys and I was the ultimate boy next door type, hell I was totally inexperienced when we first met, not just physically but even sociably, I had only started having female friends in high school about 2 years before I met her
Was it the fact that I was pure at the time that attracted her? Or was it that I had a few similarities with her ex of 3 years? the one she was allegedly married to in secret (3orfi marriage) As I see him today I realize that we do have some similarities when it comes to voice, posture and overall composure, not looks but the way we carry ourselves and the way we are soft-spoken.
How can you be so different from someone in life's experiences and genetics but in the end be very similar to him in your overall general air? I think I am more similar to him now than I was back then, maybe she has that effect on men.
I dunno if I want to thank (R) or if I want to shout obscenities at her, in the end it all worked out but I wonder if it would have turned out exactly the same but through some other path.
I believe you can't change who you become (or the final result) you can just change the path and subsequently the memories which you hold dearly to your heart or lock up in your Pandora’s box, it's a weird theory but I believe it holds some truth to it
p.s Slovakia was great, but that's another post altogether
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25 comments:
welcome back ya kimo , the part where you say
"I believe you can't change who you become (or the final result) you can just change the path and subsequently the memories which you hold dearly to your heart or lock up in your Pandora’s box, it's a weird theory but I believe it holds some truth to it"
have u ever seen the movie called "The Butterfly Effect" ??
i highly recommend it.
welcome back,hope u enjoyed to the fullest " seems yes if connected to crying in the arms of Andrea;)"
i dont think path that led to the final result could 've changed ,coz i guess it's the best you did at that time,it could've been different in other context,but hey , it happened.
hey
new follower, I really enjoyed your blog. But I'm just going to take you back a few months or weeks am not too sure. You mentioned something about a 'screwing around buddy' a person whose there for pleasure. One question DO YOU EVER TELL THE PERSON THATS WHAT THEY'RE THERE FOR, AND ONLY FOR THAT REASON. :@:@
Dont mind me am pissed b/c i got played into one of those.
mando: the butterfly effect wa7ed men aham el aflam in the 21st century, of course i've seen it. do you know that there are two endings in that movie, one they showed in the egyptian theatre (happier ending) and another one i saw on DVD. check it and tell me what u think
raghda: i did actually, bas heya she cried kaman.
i can't say i don't like what happened but i was just refecting on the whole situation, ya3ni if it wasn't (R) it would have been someone else bas kanet bardo hatala3 3einy :)
Zay: Thx, glad you enjoyed reading. not all make out buddies fall under those rules. but in the end it's my experience, if one of you wanted more he should have tried.
being there for one thing and one thing only, yes basically
but if there was more than the one thing it would be called a relationship rather than screwing around buddy, right?
oh see but I did try, but he was only there for the 10 min of lust, and never told, and till this day he denies it, but he wont have a relationship...
I agree on the last part... but u didnt answe my question
'Did you ever tell the person thats what they are there for?'
of course you do Zay
maybe you sugarcoat it a little but you still tell them everything
you can work on the rules together
ya3ni eh he was there for 10 minutes and denies it? are you sure it happened? do you even want a relationship?
ya-bne met2kda it happened I wasnt on drugs that day.
What I mean by denies it is; he denies that he used me for the 10 min.
This is what confusses me he says he did not only want me for that ten min of pleasure but at the same time he doesnt want to have a relationship...
Does that make sense?
simply means he likes you and he can have pleasure with you,but not paid ,i.e.,no relations. in my humble vision Zay.
i agree with Raghda on this one Zay, by the way how come you dont have a blog ??
you should start one :)
I know ur all taking this pleasure thing and playing great fantasies in ur head but its not what u think, anyhow tx.
the pleasure is nt only physical,though ofcourse it's the first thg comes to our dirty heads :) ,but based on ur words,pleasure could be emotional or in the sense of anything he likes.May be i tended to the physical pleasure coz u mentioned the word "lust "
im sorry if i offended u,,i wanted justto help.accept my apology.
My first time here. Really interesting blog, Kareem :)
I've seen "The Butterfly Effect" and it's amazing. One of my fave movies.
ana mesh fahem 7aga ya zay
u mean these 10 minutes are not physical?? ana bardo 2olt ten minutes dah yeb2a 3ayel ay kalam khales :))
u mean he flirted for 10 minutes ya3ni? we ba33dein tele3 mesh ada el kalam?
i always say mesh add el neela betetnayello leh
who is this guy, what is his background, did u know him from before wala is he a good friend wala is he a friend of a friend?
y3ni some help keda plz
Mystery: thanks for dropping by, eb2y 3addy keda kol shewaya
raghooda :) dont worry hun I didnt take it personal at all. And yeah from your replies you guys took on a different toll but no peoblem 3ady.
Lust:
1. An overwhelming desire or craving: a lust for power.
2. Intense eagerness or enthusiasm: a lust for life.
3. Obsolete. Pleasure; relish.
anyhow Kareem I met him from my friend hes her brother. We still talk but not lately, and he, I jsut dont know what he wants, I mean he will tell me he met other girls and Ill be like okay good go date em and then he goes oh no I dont think I am.
Its like he tells me to make me feel bad and when I show I dont care he goes oh I dont think I will. WTH? And hes egyptian and am not egyptian ;) but thats not the problem. So is he just playing around?
So you believe we have a predisposed personality that we're bound to fall into at some point? That's an interesting theory, which can only be tested through reincarnation. If I believed the concepts of "character" or "personality" existed I would agree with you, but I think its all a road of learning and you can easily shift and mold with different experiences. I could be on a hay ride though, I'm sure people less neurotic than I manage to find a personality they can stick to.
I always manage to go through the best stints of character development after heartbreak. I can relate to you. The same fuckers I want to castrate also gave me the best insights into what I'm capable of.
Zay: maybe he thinks foreign easy girl.
do you really want the guy? why are you worrying about him so much?
he doesn't sound like a cool guy at all :(
Gitana: i loved your last paragraph, the castrating bit :D
and it's more than true kaman
yeah, u have a point, i dont know why I care about him so much when he doesnt give a damn about me apparently. Anyhow thanks and sorry for turning this page into a therapy office. :$.
hahaha everyone likes a bit of genital mutilation once in a while methinks :D
I probably stumbled on your blog through another blogger... I tend to lose track when I'm on a blogging frenzy
Zay: don't mention it
Gitana: don't we all
I agree with everything you said... too many flashbacks...
m3lsh so2al..delwa2ti msh Pandora's box is symbol of the vagina ? y3ni a woman can use her box to suck men into all kinds of trouble.. or u can say it is a source of many unforeseen troubles.
s7 wala e?
if that's right yb2a i need an explanation to the last paragraph.
Are you out there... you havent posted in a bit.
i'm there zay, just a little bit busy busy.
congrats on the blog
it's not always a symbol of vagina, box is SlanG for vagina, bas it could also mean box
hah thanks :).
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