He said she said bulls**t

He Said:

I don’t know why she is ignoring me, if she doesn’t like me then why the hell did she do this? Why did she go for it?

[pick up, please pick it up].

damn it, DamN It

[pick up, pick up, pick up]

stupid girls and their fucked up mind games, I shouldn’t be the one calling her, not in Egypt anyway, I’m just being nice, being a gentleman….. okay maybe a horny gentleman but still

[don’t call her again, don’t be so pathetic] [get a grip man]

[ok, an sms will do -----> hey girl, tried calling you today, [don’t mention the other night, or the fun you had] [concentrate] nothing important, just checking, holler at me when you get this

[holler at me?]
.
.
.

[Ok, now don’t tell me she hasn’t checked her mobile in the past hour, she’s all over it every 5 minutes] [Maybe she’s asleep] [Asleep my ass]



She Said:

Oh God, why is he calling again [you know why, he thinks this is going somewhere, he thinks it’s gonna happen] [he’s never gonna get it] ooooh should I answer??? [no, he should get the message, eventually]


“she” calls kareem

She: hey babe
Kareem: hey you
She: busy today?
Kareem: it’s my day off as u should know by now
She: ok, ok I’ll finish work and come to maadi, around 6-ish
Kareem: sounds like a plan (in a mocking tone)

[God, Kareem can be too sarcastic sometimes]

[ok, now if anybody would understand why I did this it’s kareem, at least he won’t judge] [not so sure that telling your make-out buddy about this is in the rules]
fuck the rules, it’s not like I like the guy
.
.
.
yo K,
Yo S

[Okay, should I just tell him or let him steer the topic as usual towards that kind of conversation] [no he might not do so, even Kareem doesn’t do it everytime]

S: Kareem, I need to tell you something
Kareem: shoot.
S. Well… it’s kinda awkward
Kareem: you know you can tell me

[I know I can, I’m just not sure I want to]

S: remember the Sinai trip I was telling you about?
Kareem: yeah, how did it go?
S: well…
Kareem: ahaaaaaa, you hooked up
S: kinda
Kareem: babe you either hooked up or you didn’t, I’m sure you can tell the difference by now
S: well there was this guy
K: ya benty we’ve established he’s a guy, unless you have one big secret to tell me, oh I’m gonna love you even more, was it a girl?
S: NO!!! Yaaa333
K: you like girls, you like girls
S: shut up and listen
K:….
S: well we didn’t hook up hook-up, we just cuddled in one sleeping bag under the stars.
K: Just cuddled up?
S: yeah
K: and you weren’t surprised he didn’t try to pull a move? I am.
S: well, no, it wasn’t dirty
K: you are one courageous, veiled, girl
S: yeah (weakly) (unconvinced)
K: so who is he?
S: I don’t know him
K: come again?
S: I know him, but not like I know you, I saw him like once before at a friend’s place
K: and??
S: and on the trip
K: you do know that by one courageous, veiled girl I meant stupid
S: you are not making this easy
K: ok… and you are having one hell of a guilt trip?
S: it’s not guilt at all, it’s just that he keeps calling
K: you gave him your number!!!!
S: yeah, and he’s already called me 5 times till now, answered the first couple of times then stopped
K: (silence)
S: what should I do?
K: well… Ignoring him usually does the trick, what do you want to do? Do you mind him reaching the conclusion that he was just “convenient”
S: well, if it can be done..
K: (interrupting) it can’t
S: I just don’t want to go further, I don’t want to see him, I don’t want to date him, I don’t want to have his babies, he sent me a text suggesting we go play tennis sometime
K: is that what you kids call it these days?
S: no! tennis, the one with the yellow bouncy ball and the big heavy rackets
K: how does that fit? It’s a weird location for a second make-out date
S: we didn’t make out make-out, we just necked and cuddled
K: like a a one hour hug?
S: exactly
K: problem is he still doesn’t know there is such a thing as a one hour hug?
S: yet, I was hoping he’d get the concept
K: it’s not very mainstream, anyway, ignore him and see how it goes, and report back with updates, so we can sort it if the shit hits the fan and he decides to follow you
S: guys his age don’t do such stuff K
K: what now??? How old is he
S: 35-36 (S is 22)
K: so you cuddle up with a stranger, who is 14 years older than you
S: (interrupting) he doesn’t know how old I am
K: shut up! Who is 14 years your senior, you give him your number, he knows what club you play tennis at and he knows where you work
S: yeah… OH
K: Good luck



He Said:

Ok, so she hasn’t called back [maybe today she’s in a better mood]
.
.
.
[still no answer]

ok how about another SMS -----> ok, now I feel like a stalker, 5 times in 2 days you don’t answer or return the call, and now this 3rd sms and still no answer, reply so I know you’re still alive

Phone rings

He: hey there
She: yo, stalker? I was just busy like hell yesterday, you don’t know how
He: so are we still on for tennis this Friday?
She: I guess so, why? Are you thinking of canceling?
He: I wouldn’t dream of canceling
She: ok… so we’re on then, look I gotta go now, my boss needs me
He: see you Friday

[now that wasn’t like her at all] [oh how would you know her] [ I know I don’t know her, but I mean she sounded restrained and holding back, I don’t understand this, where is the laid back, confident, sexy her? Can she really be that different at work? Oh who are you kidding? No one is that different at work]
.
.
.
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[should I cancel Friday? So as not to sound too eager? But what if this is my last chance? What if that’s what she wants but is too shy to say? No go and be the best you that you can be]


driving back home, “he” heard a David Gray song on the radio (be mine) and it reminded him of her. How unlike them to play David Gray
(resisting an urge to send her text to checkout the radio) [that would be too stalker-like, she would definitely freak out, hell I would

*song ends, “he” pulls up the driveway at home
alone




She Said:

[should I have said something when he asked if we were still on?] [cramps, PMS, Nothing beats PMS, he’s a big boy, he should be able to handle a little PMS]

[well too late now, stupid bitch]




She Said: narrated to me and partly acted by me
He said: purely imagined by me

Afterword/ Kareem Said
What would you have done? As a “he” or a “she”
I find myself increasingly being asked for help in sticky situations, and while I could live without their problems, it never seems to interrupt the flow of my day, gives me sight into how lonely we get sometimes

K



p.s. I love winter