IF THESE BLOGGERS MET/ bloggers party



Hypothetical situation: a gathering of some sorts with no regards to geographical boundaries (the fact that A Pair Of Brown Eyes is in Canada or that Cup Of Malice is in Dubai)


So I gather the courage to invite a certain number of bloggers who I frequent their blogs and they are the following


Yasmina , lilith , The great AZ , sandmonkey, sam, maxxed out , Mr. Ahmed Shokeir , Nerro , TAN aka theassimilatednegro , Ka3'eem from the now defunct tazbeet, Wombat and Midwest from kiss n blog, the almost 40-year old virgin , mohamad from "from cairo with love", the guys from Gazma 7arimi , the shadow's end, tomanbay who I suspect that I know, forsoothsayer, Muslim convert lady, Pazuzu, A Pair Of Brown Eyes, Raghood , Hanouma, alluring or Lolo, cleopatrina, Mo'men from great misconceptions, Cup Of Malice for sure, Mando, the still breathing Walaa Emam, leilouta, Hera , bar bar a, Spanish moza and sand-e-sez

The only non-blogger invited would be my good friend(MF)

Maybe I missed out on some of you, but you get my point


First to arrive would be a punctual yasmina and the bored out of his mind mando, followed closely by Midwest and wombat and the 40 year old virgin, the guys from gazma 7arimy show up together making a lot of noise and followed by Ka3’eem and Mohamed from cairo, and In an hour everybody is there except sandmonkey, pazuzu, alluring (forsoothsayer, sand-e-sez and Sam who are all "a no show")


The chilled mood is set with the tunes of Zero 7, Thievery Corporation and manal’s favorite soap kills


People start mingling and I immediately set my sights for Yasmina who I am extremely intrigued by and I make use of the fact that sandmonkey hasn’t shown up yet so I know I’ll have her attention :)

We chat for a while about nothings and how life is different in Egypt for her this time and obviously I am over excited about this long overdue geting to know each other beyond blogs but i hide it well, meanwhile Cup of malice goes straight for a Pair Of Brown Eyes as he is notoriously known for the attraction to petite brunettes ( I don’t blame him) who is not interested since he is after all an Arab man, Midwest cuts in and whisks Cup of Malice away to a secluded corner next to the bar for exactly the same reason (dark and handsome and all) and POBE is relieved

Sandmonkey arrives fashionably late and louder than usual (not possible) and immediately both yasmina and POBE go to hang with him (although both deny the possibility of hooking up with him) but he’s too busy arguing with Tomanbay about the recent events to notice them. Mohamed from cairo takes tomanbay’s side and leilouta backs sandmonkey fiercely

Mr. shokeir and hanouma swap pictures of their kids (does hanouma have kids?) and start making up stories inspired by the crowd while sipping on some tea and a long island ice tea respectively



Of course Cleopatrina and the still breathing walaa huddle together and start critizing and sarcastically commenting on everybody, as they are running out of people they start commenting on each other and quite soon they flip each other off, cleopatrina goes to practice her perfect mother-tongue like Spanish on the very rusty hanouma and walaa goes to chat with muslim convert lady who surprisingly is still present till now as this is not her kind of place



TAN is annoyed that there isn’t a single assimiliated negro present other than him, and is about to address Cup of Malice as he thinks maybe he’s a semi-assimilated negro but then recognizes the accent to be extremely white and changes his mind, he is about to leave when he notices a rather bored POBE and they both sneak out early together to a shaded spot


The shadow’s end and the almost 40 year old virgin debate both why vaginas should be destroyed and why men seem to be jerks they are joined by wombat and Ka3’eem who gives them his own theory on the alpha male and biological reasons behind our attraction to females and vice versa after trying every single pick up line of the 50 he had on his blog (before something went terribly wrong and he disappeared) on yasmina and midwest and failing miserably


Meanwhile the hopeless romantics from gazma 7arimy are trailing pazuzu (who should have known better than to use that fatal Lebanese accent in front of any Egyptian) and she can’t seem to shake them off, they all compose poems for their Lebanese femme fatale and eventually she starts to enjoy the ego-feeding attention


Mo’men and bar bar a go into deep analysis of Pink Floyd and forget about everybody else present as they can’t believe that someone could be a bigger fan of Pink Floyd


I am busy now with teasing raghood about her married boss and her younger sister when mando cuts in and starts hitting on her ( not sure wether that would work as obviously he still needs work on his style and preferably lessons from TAN who already left) I point out to him that alluring is by herself ( I am evil) and Raghood and I watch as she annihilates his character and nearly rips his head off managing somehow to mention that she is engaged in the process, he takes it surprisingly well and moves on to join the now increasingly popular discussion about alpha males and how they are ruining our reputation


Less than 5 minutes after the conversation the Spanish moza notices mando who looks a lot like her arab prince (lucky bastard) and they hit it off immediately and disappear towards the dimly-lit kitchen, drinking cocktails and flirting like there’s no tomorrow


I locate maxxed out and we start conversing about how both of us are scared of pretty women and how we are both surprisingly okay with that fact.


Meanwhile Nerro, takes both cleopatrina and walaa under her wing, resolves the conflict between them and restores the peace


The great AZ is chating with hera and lilith about her new line of wearable mis-fits clothing line and asking for feed back when all of a sudden a fist fight breaks out between the overly aggressive sandmonkey and a passive aggressive tomanbay who knows how to push our monkey’s buttons calmly and both won’t back down from their views, maxxed out holds sandmonkey back and Mohamed from cairo does the same to tomanbay (who isn’t as agitated as our monkey) in order to stop the fight and maxxed out gets a black eye courtesy of sandmonkey's elbow in the process. Cup of malice and I suggest a drinking contest to resolve the conflict (with (MF) singing the wenta sakraan/cuz i got high song) which tomanbay loses after his 2nd shot of tequila, throws up on the guys from gazma 7arimy and passes out, yasmina carries on in his place not out of support for tomanbay, hell no, but in support of all tequila manufacturers in the world.


Now this ends our segment on the first bloggers party, hope you enjoyed your stay and tell me if you did or didn't


Cheers everybody