The title is taken from the song " Manni 2elak" by soap kills
Something is seriously wrong with me.
I drive alone back from mohandessin (about 30 min drive) and during the drive my thoughts drift to R who my last talk with was over a year ago and my last physical contact was 3-4 years ago, the only reason for these thoughts? A song
As much as I hate admitting it, she was one of my most influential experiences, and one of the few ones which helped shape my current character
The thing that I remembered yesterday was our late night telephone conversations, which led me to think about how we met and why we met
(R) was known for liking bad boys and I was the ultimate boy next door type, hell I was totally inexperienced when we first met, not just physically but even sociably, I had only started having female friends in high school about 2 years before I met her
Was it the fact that I was pure at the time that attracted her? Or was it that I had a few similarities with her ex of 3 years? the one she was allegedly married to in secret (3orfi marriage) As I see him today I realize that we do have some similarities when it comes to voice, posture and overall composure, not looks but the way we carry ourselves and the way we are soft-spoken.
How can you be so different from someone in life's experiences and genetics but in the end be very similar to him in your overall general air? I think I am more similar to him now than I was back then, maybe she has that effect on men.
I dunno if I want to thank (R) or if I want to shout obscenities at her, in the end it all worked out but I wonder if it would have turned out exactly the same but through some other path.
I believe you can't change who you become (or the final result) you can just change the path and subsequently the memories which you hold dearly to your heart or lock up in your Pandora’s box, it's a weird theory but I believe it holds some truth to it
p.s Slovakia was great, but that's another post altogether