Sunday, May 28, 2006

IF THESE BLOGGERS MET/ bloggers party

Hypothetical situation: a gathering of some sorts with no regards to geographical boundaries (the fact that A Pair Of Brown Eyes is in Canada or that Cup Of Malice is in Dubai)

So I gather the courage to invite a certain number of bloggers who I frequent their blogs and they are the following

Yasmina , lilith , The great AZ , sandmonkey, sam, maxxed out , Mr. Ahmed Shokeir , Nerro , TAN aka theassimilatednegro , Ka3'eem from the now defunct tazbeet, Wombat and Midwest from kiss n blog, the almost 40-year old virgin , mohamad from "from cairo with love", the guys from Gazma 7arimi , the shadow's end, tomanbay who I suspect that I know, forsoothsayer, Muslim convert lady, Pazuzu, A Pair Of Brown Eyes, Raghood , Hanouma, alluring or Lolo, cleopatrina, Mo'men from great misconceptions, Cup Of Malice for sure, Mando, the still breathing Walaa Emam, leilouta, Hera , bar bar a, Spanish moza and sand-e-sez

The only non-blogger invited would be my good friend(MF)

Maybe I missed out on some of you, but you get my point

First to arrive would be a punctual yasmina and the bored out of his mind mando, followed closely by Midwest and wombat and the 40 year old virgin, the guys from gazma 7arimy show up together making a lot of noise and followed by Ka3’eem and Mohamed from cairo, and In an hour everybody is there except sandmonkey, pazuzu, alluring (forsoothsayer, sand-e-sez and Sam who are all "a no show")

The chilled mood is set with the tunes of Zero 7, Thievery Corporation and manal’s favorite soap kills

People start mingling and I immediately set my sights for Yasmina who I am extremely intrigued by and I make use of the fact that sandmonkey hasn’t shown up yet so I know I’ll have her attention :)

We chat for a while about nothings and how life is different in Egypt for her this time and obviously I am over excited about this long overdue geting to know each other beyond blogs but i hide it well, meanwhile Cup of malice goes straight for a Pair Of Brown Eyes as he is notoriously known for the attraction to petite brunettes ( I don’t blame him) who is not interested since he is after all an Arab man, Midwest cuts in and whisks Cup of Malice away to a secluded corner next to the bar for exactly the same reason (dark and handsome and all) and POBE is relieved

Sandmonkey arrives fashionably late and louder than usual (not possible) and immediately both yasmina and POBE go to hang with him (although both deny the possibility of hooking up with him) but he’s too busy arguing with Tomanbay about the recent events to notice them. Mohamed from cairo takes tomanbay’s side and leilouta backs sandmonkey fiercely

Mr. shokeir and hanouma swap pictures of their kids (does hanouma have kids?) and start making up stories inspired by the crowd while sipping on some tea and a long island ice tea respectively

Of course Cleopatrina and the still breathing walaa huddle together and start critizing and sarcastically commenting on everybody, as they are running out of people they start commenting on each other and quite soon they flip each other off, cleopatrina goes to practice her perfect mother-tongue like Spanish on the very rusty hanouma and walaa goes to chat with muslim convert lady who surprisingly is still present till now as this is not her kind of place

TAN is annoyed that there isn’t a single assimiliated negro present other than him, and is about to address Cup of Malice as he thinks maybe he’s a semi-assimilated negro but then recognizes the accent to be extremely white and changes his mind, he is about to leave when he notices a rather bored POBE and they both sneak out early together to a shaded spot

The shadow’s end and the almost 40 year old virgin debate both why vaginas should be destroyed and why men seem to be jerks they are joined by wombat and Ka3’eem who gives them his own theory on the alpha male and biological reasons behind our attraction to females and vice versa after trying every single pick up line of the 50 he had on his blog (before something went terribly wrong and he disappeared) on yasmina and midwest and failing miserably

Meanwhile the hopeless romantics from gazma 7arimy are trailing pazuzu (who should have known better than to use that fatal Lebanese accent in front of any Egyptian) and she can’t seem to shake them off, they all compose poems for their Lebanese femme fatale and eventually she starts to enjoy the ego-feeding attention

Mo’men and bar bar a go into deep analysis of Pink Floyd and forget about everybody else present as they can’t believe that someone could be a bigger fan of Pink Floyd

I am busy now with teasing raghood about her married boss and her younger sister when mando cuts in and starts hitting on her ( not sure wether that would work as obviously he still needs work on his style and preferably lessons from TAN who already left) I point out to him that alluring is by herself ( I am evil) and Raghood and I watch as she annihilates his character and nearly rips his head off managing somehow to mention that she is engaged in the process, he takes it surprisingly well and moves on to join the now increasingly popular discussion about alpha males and how they are ruining our reputation

Less than 5 minutes after the conversation the Spanish moza notices mando who looks a lot like her arab prince (lucky bastard) and they hit it off immediately and disappear towards the dimly-lit kitchen, drinking cocktails and flirting like there’s no tomorrow

I locate maxxed out and we start conversing about how both of us are scared of pretty women and how we are both surprisingly okay with that fact.

Meanwhile Nerro, takes both cleopatrina and walaa under her wing, resolves the conflict between them and restores the peace

The great AZ is chating with hera and lilith about her new line of wearable mis-fits clothing line and asking for feed back when all of a sudden a fist fight breaks out between the overly aggressive sandmonkey and a passive aggressive tomanbay who knows how to push our monkey’s buttons calmly and both won’t back down from their views, maxxed out holds sandmonkey back and Mohamed from cairo does the same to tomanbay (who isn’t as agitated as our monkey) in order to stop the fight and maxxed out gets a black eye courtesy of sandmonkey's elbow in the process. Cup of malice and I suggest a drinking contest to resolve the conflict (with (MF) singing the wenta sakraan/cuz i got high song) which tomanbay loses after his 2nd shot of tequila, throws up on the guys from gazma 7arimy and passes out, yasmina carries on in his place not out of support for tomanbay, hell no, but in support of all tequila manufacturers in the world.

Now this ends our segment on the first bloggers party, hope you enjoyed your stay and tell me if you did or didn't

Cheers everybody

Saturday, May 27, 2006

a new addition to the blogosphere

although i have a lot of negative feelings toward the expresion "blogosphere"

please join me for a warm welcome (dafy keda ma3 el ice cream el sa2e3... inside joke) to a very good friend and my best friend of ten years (A)'s sister Cleopatrina on her new blog.

after almost 2 months of trying to get her to blog she finally did

kudos a33nooor
which annoys me more

i have another question for you

what bothers you more?

the fifteen posts a day blogger or the haven't posted anything since january blogger?

i dislike both actually, hehe
i am bi-blogger now

just got an invite to contribute to fahd's blog (aka cup of malice)

dunno what i'll write though... yet

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Wenta sakran, wenta kharban, wenta sakraaaaaaaan, pararappappaa

i just felt the need to tell you that "turn the page" by metallica is the best cover version ever, it's better than the original song

the top 5 are

1- "turn the page" Metallica covering Bob Seger

2- "word up" Gun covering Cameo

3- "knocking on heaven's door" Adam Sandler Parodying/mocking Axl Rose ( i know not a real cover but funny as hell)

4- "romeo and Juiliet" Indido Girls covering Dire Straits ( actually both versions were sweet, and indigo girls also covered "i don't wanna talk about it" by everything but the girl better than the original)

and last but certainly not least

5- My best friend (MF)'s egyptian version of Afroman's "because i got high"

cuz i got high, becuz i got high, becoz i got hiiiiigh (wenta sakraan, wenta kharbaan, wenta sakraaaaan)

p.s the movie "rent" has a very nice soundtrack but u need to watch the movie first, rosario dawson, hmmm... i think i'm in love

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

fucking a coke bottle

is one of the search queries that led someone to my blog

so sick ( i felt the same walahi) now why would ANYONE search that? why? why? huh? why?
but to be honest i laughed when i saw it

sorry but i had to share this right now

p.s i am back from italy via the fucking lufthanza, will resume normal posting by the weekend cuz of backed up work

if anyone had a similiar experiment with wierd search items that led people to his/her blog please share

UPDATE: June 2006

new search items that led here

why do i get a boner by kissing

cheat once cheat twice fidelity statistics

hugging a colleague

i am single on my 3oth birthday

'statistics of cheaters, infidelity, who cheat again after being caught'

Saturday, May 20, 2006

Fucking fucking fucking Lufthanza

(strong language ensues, Excuse my french)/ Rant/

so here i am, airport blogging from the frankfurt lounge, i was supposed to travel yesterday, friday the 19th but the flight was cancelled because lufthanza are a piece of shit airline.

first they kept us on the plane for 3 hours then they removed us and kept us at the fucking cairo air port untill they figured out what to do with us next, needless to say my reservation in venice was cancelled because of a no-show, i had to call them and beg for my room back, i was lucky they didn't give it to someone on their waiting list as the hotel is completely booked

and to top that we were billed 260 euros by the hotel for the first night because of their failure to put us on another flight on the same day, that's not considering the other losses i incurred from missing saturday in italy, having to reschedule 2 apointments and cancelling a third.

then they told us that we would have to take the early saturday morning flight 5am and the 12pm connection to venice, that was the best they could do. by doing this we would be in venice by 1:30 and still catch the second meeting

they shipped us to sheraton heliopolis, we stayed there for 6 hours and then went back to the airport, as i was checking out i was surprised to see that they are charging me for a diet coke and a small bottle of water that i had during my "free dinner" courtesy of fucking lufthanza, i mean come'on, charging me for a pepsi and water that i had only because my flight was cancelled by the incompetent fucking lufthanza is WRONG, not rude or inconsiderate but just plain wrong.

anyway we arrive at 3 am. it took me for the first time in my life an entire hour to check in on the business class counter, AND there was only % people in front of us.

by the time we arrived to the check-in counter they told us that our connection to venice is (surprise surprise) not confirmed, as in waiting list (the same flight that was confirmed yesterday) and that the next possible flight out of frankfurt is 5pm that means 8 plus hours in transit instead of the planned 2 1/2 hours,

then they put our bags on a wrong flight (the 12:30 connection) i corrected them and they fixed it,

then they gave me a wrong boarding pass for the waiting list 12:30 flight and gave my father the 5pm confirmed boparding pass.

so it's not enough for them that we have to wait for 8 hours because of their mistake, they were gonna make us wait these 8 hours in 2 seperate countries ( nice work eh?)

And it's only 10 am saturday

enjoy the weekend everybody

i'll get back to blogging by next thursday-saturday still not sure, just couldn't let this pass without blogging about it.

oooh one thing more, the fucking manager of that bastard, anal airline put a remark/note on most of our names as i was informed by another passenger, he showed me a printout that was made by mistake for him that included a remark/note saying that we were
1- shouting
2- rude
3 and get this (acting in an abnormal way) / crazy passengers (not the exact words i forgot them now)

And basically the bitch did so to cover her white fat pimply hairy ass in case we decide to file a complaint, but we'll get her, i got the phone numbers and emails of the remaining business class section and we are going to complain together ( let's see her defend herself with the crazy passengers excuse with the entire section)

bitch is going down baby, that's what you get for tryin to fuck with K

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Some Questions to ponder upon

I am traveling to Italy for the next week I will hopefully be back on Thursday 25th of may so as a part of my traveling rituals I like to post a long post before I travel and this time I’m done before my traveling deadline (next Thursday)

So here goes…

§ Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as your dinner guest? As your close friend? As your lover?
As a dinner guest I’d probably go for some character that has a lot of stories to tell (I’d like to meet president Anwar El Sadat)
As a close friend I’d go for the obvious Jimmy Mubarak (sorry I’ll sell out)
As a lover I’d definitely go for "Emmy Rossum" from the phantom of the opera or an older choice would be Arabic singer/ hottest thing out of Lebanon
“Maya Nasri”

§ Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by five years to become extremely attractive?
Hell yeah, I’d give an extra 5 years to be extra cool…. (Unless I had less than 5 years to live of course)

§ Would you rather spend a month on vacation with your parents or put in overtime at your current job for four weeks without extra compensation?
Interesting thought!!!!

§ When did you last cry by yourself? In front of another person?
I’m not sure when was the last time I cried by myself, I teared up in front of the police during the Dahab interrogations though after they told us we were the main suspects and that we’ll probably spend a long while in custody

§ If 100 people your age were chosen at random, how many do you think you’d find leading a more satisfying life than yours?
Another interesting thought!!! I like to think that no one is happy, anyway it depends if it’s from the entire world or just Egypt, generally I’d say about 30% maybe

§ If you had the choice of one intimate soul mate and no other close friends, or of no such soul mate and many friends and acquaintances, which would you choose?
Well… since now I fell out with my college group and the school group is never there and I have no soul mate at the moment, I say I say either would be welcome at the moment

Ø Do you think your friends would agree with one another about the kind of person you are?
I’m very moody, even I don’t agree on the kind of person I am

§ Would you prefer to be blind or deaf?
Deaf, although I’d miss music and people speaking to me Spanish

§ How many of your friendships have lasted more than ten years? Which of your current friends do you feel will still be important to you ten years from now?
Only one with Ali, again probably only Ali

§ If you could mould to your liking your memories of any past experience, would you do so?
Oh that would just be horrible

§ Would you be content with a marriage of the highest quality in all respects but one – it completely lacked sex?
Again, lacking sex very much at the moment and lacking marriage (but I heard that most couples don’t have that much sex after the first couple years of marriage, but again if you ever walked in on your parents you’d know that’s not true

§ If you were happily married, and then met someone you felt was certain to always bring you deeply passionate, intoxicating love, would you leave your spouse? What if you had kids?
Love is overrated

§ Relative of the population at large? How do you rate your physical attractiveness? Your intelligence? Your personality?
My physical attractiveness, hmmm… my ego says a 7½, my scales beg to differ
My intelligence would be around a 9 (iq test not me)
And my personality I’d give it an 8 ( if it wasn’t for the short temper and the sensitiveness)

§ If you could script the basic plot for the dream you will have tonight, what would the story be?
Eva Longoria and sir hump-a-lot

§ While out one day, you are surprised to see your father holding hands with someone who is clearly his lover, he begs you not to say anything to your mother. How would you respond? What if your mother later told you that she was going crazy thinking that your father was having an affair yet knew it was just her imagination?
OUCH!!!! Tough one, I’d probably shut up in the beginning, most of us do, as for the mother part, I’d lie to her that everything is alright, spare her feelings and talk with my dad about his plans, then act accordingly

§ If you had to spend the next 2 years inside a small but fully provisioned Antarctic shelter with one other person, whom would you like to have with you?
A totally hot, female and complete stranger who’s secretly into fat guys :-) the stranger part so we could use the time to get to know each other ( kinda pointless to have your best friend aboard )

§ You become involved romantically but after 6 months realize you need to end the relationship. If you were certain the person would commit suicide if you were to leave and were also certain you could not be happy with the person, what would you do?
I don’t think I’d be able to live with the guilt so I would stay

§ What was your most enjoyable dream? Your worst nightmare?
I don’t have a most enjoyable dream, I had weird ones though, as for the nightmare I remember it till today, it involved a priest and two male aids torturing a young nun ( I woke up sweating and didn’t sleep for 2 days) I’m not a Christian and generally don’t have religious dreams especially the demented type but for some reason I had this nightmare, I still shiver when I remember it ( it definitely has a deeper meaning but I’m ashamed to ask anyone about it)

§ If by sacrificing your life you could contribute so much to the world you would be honored by all nations, would you be willing to do so? If so, would you make the sacrifice knowing that someone you thoroughly disliked would received that honor while you went unrecognized?
I would in both cases, but with much less zeal in the second one

§ Would you like your spouse to be both smarter and more attractive than you are?
I think it would only be fair if she was one and I was the other, and I generally believe that women should be more attractive than men ( plus if she was both why would she hang around with me?)

§ You discover that your wonderful one-year-old child is, because of a mix-up at the hospital, not yours. Would you want to exchange the child to try and correct the mistake?
I probably would, but not if he was five-years-old

§ When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
In my car a couple of days ago, I only sang to someone once in college to a girl (A) and I sang can’t help falling in love with you or something else equally sappy, I ruled that day, with a standing ovation and all, she wasn’t impressed though, bitch

§ Which sex do you think has it easier in our culture? Have you ever wished you were of the opposite sex?
Does that really need an answer? I wouldn’t mind being female for a day or two for the obvious reasons (moving guys around with one finger and all) but I’d have to be a hot girl

§ What are your most compulsive habits? Do you regularly struggle to break these habits?
Smoking and biting my fingernails, nope I enjoy them actually

§ Would you enjoy spending a month of solitude in a beautiful natural setting? Food and shelter would be provided but you would not see another person.
I would take anybody on that offer, where else can you do that amount of soul searching and get a month off work

§ If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly? Would you change anything about the way you are now living?
I’d be more religious, I’d finish my book/story/novel, be nicer to my mom, And tell “the asshole” about the truth about his bitch fiancée

§ If you knew you would die of an incurable disease within 3 months, would you allow yourself to be frozen within the week if you knew it would give you a modest chance of being revived in 1,000 years and living a greatly extended life?
I can’t even figure out HTML do you think I’d survive for even one month in a 1000 years? No thank you I’ll take my 3 months now

§ You are invited to a party that will be attended by many fascinating people you’ve never met. Would you want to go if you had to go by yourself?
Reminds me of an interesting thought that I’m working on, it’s a bloggers party/get-together, a hypothetical one that has no boundaries and the fact that A pair of brown eyes is in Canada or that Cup Of Malice is in Dubai doesn’t matter, I had this thought a couple of days ago and basically I had a vision of how each one would carry themselves and the fist fights that would eventually happen.

§ If you were at a friend’s house for thanksgiving dinner and you found a dead cockroach in your salad, what would you do?
Hmmm… crunchy, I would take my plate to the kitchen and force feed it to the dirty friend

§ If someone you love deeply is brutally murdered and you know the identity of the murderer, who unfortunately is acquitted of the crime. Would you seek revenge?
Are we entitled to take revenge ourselves? I am against killing for revenge, I’d probably torture them if I ever had that chance, make them suffer (something from the movie “Se7en” or “Saw” comes to my mind)

I’d like the following to Share what they would do in these situations/ tag them, if they can bother themselves cuz I know it’s too long but the questions are worth answering, at least between yourself, they give insight into one’s self

Cup of Malice (YEEAAAHHHH, Damian and Demento forever)
Bar Bar A
Sam (contemplates)
Spanish mozza
The Shadow’s End

Again this is not a request/tag to do this on your blog, it’s up to you to decide if it’s blogworthy but at least do them in your mind, you’d be surprised at some of the answers that you didn’t know were there ( although I’d love to see your answers to these questions)

Sunday, May 14, 2006

Gold Dust Woman

a song by "stevie nicks", although i prefer the performance by "sister hazel" more but the lyrics are what i enjoyed most

Rock on gold dust woman

Take your silver spoon

Dig your grave

Well it's a heartless challenge

Pick your path and I'll pray

Wake up in the morning

See your sunrise loves to go down

Lousy lovers

Pick their prey but they never cry out loud, cry out loud

Well did she make you cry

Make you break down

Shatter your illusions of love

Is it over now

Do you know how

To pick up the pieces and go home

So rock on

Ancient queen

Follow those who pale in your shadow

They say that rulers they make bad lovers

You better put your kingdom up for sale, up for sale

Well did she make you cry

Make you break down

Shatter your illusions of love

Is it over now

Do you know how

To pick up the pieces and go home

And go home...

Ooh, pale shadow of a woman

Ooh, black widow, oh yeah

Ooh, pale, she's a shadow, she's a dragon (Taken by, taken by the sky)

Gold dust woman (Taken by, taken by the sky)

Tell me

Tell me

Tell me

Tell me

Tell me

Tell me

Tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me

Did she make you cry

Make you break down

Shatter your illusions of love

Is it over now

Do you know how

To pick up the pieces and go home

Tell me did she make you cry

Make you break down

Shatter your illusions of love

Tell me is it over now

Do you know how

To pick up the pieces and go home

Go home...

And go home...

Deep lyrics and a lot of meaning and I am searching for the exact meaning of the lyrics at the moment (what stevie nicks meant), if anyone is interested tell me and I’ll email them with the meaning when I’m done with the research

old email that i stumbled upon/ funny joke

Ever noticed how deleting one word after the other in a sentence can lead to a nice story?

Here's an example:

Oh John please don't touch me at all...!

Oh John please don't touch me at...!

Oh John please don't touch...!

Oh John please don't...!

Oh John please...!

Oh John..!


Saturday, May 06, 2006

A wise man once said

Well he’s not really a wise man in fact it’s my friend (M) not the (M) who was wounded in Dahab but the (M) from college (his initials are M.F) funny huh? He’s my favorite M.F

This is what he said

Fidelity is not a feeling it’s a decision

I like the way he thinks, I guess 90% of guys would agree

Hope I don’t get my ass kicked over this

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Nothing and everything to write about

I am dodging work at the moment, well… actually dodging meeting customers and clients. I’m leaving it to the sales people as I just don’t feel like selling anything today, not antisocial or anything but just not in a mood to engage in that sort of action.

I went upstairs to work on some other work related things that have nothing to do with meeting clients, I am enjoying the peace and quiet of the office, hope I can get over it soon. I guess part of me is still affected by the whole Dahab incident.

I feel the need to be alone at the moment almost as much as I feel the need to be with and among people (it’s a weird conflict of emotions)

I think this is the first time for me to write/blog without having something urgent on my mind like an occasion or breaking news/something that really pissed me off.

With no nagging thoughts (at least no major ones ) I am today writing about nothing save how I feel, probably the main reason why blogging started (as some sort of self therapy).

P.s. Hope my two previous posts weren’t too depressing.