Thursday, June 22, 2006

But nothing compares to these blue and yellow purple pills

so what's up with the good ole rents? what are they thinking ya3ni?

it's been a while snce they acted crazy

i thought they outgrew it

last weekend all hell broke loose after they went for a lunch together

i got a call after meeting up with a friend of mine in city stars on saturday

phone rings

me: hello
my sister: enta fein? (where are you?)
me: i am in masr el gedida
Sis: your mom and dad got in a fight (just like the good old days)
sis: i dunno, all three of us were having lunch and it was all good then on the way home something went FUBAR
me: how bad is it?
Sis: well... she left the house and doesn't us to want to tell him where she is, says if he really cares then he should call
me: hmmm... that's new

now the problem is that my mom is the kind of person who if approached about a certain problem, she enjoys the attention and magnifies the whole thing ( so we didn't wanna talk with her so as not to make matters worse) i figured she was going to my aunt (khalty) because she has a sprained back and can't move at all, so i called there

and to my surprise i find that my -usually calm and usually defensive of my dad- aunt is also bouncing off the walls (wierd?) and saying stuff like "no, your dad has gone too far this time" and i was like WHAT STUFF???? i don't understand and both of them replied "i can't tell you, ask him, if he wants to say"

i ask her if she wants me to come ack to maadi and she says no stay out with your friends

so i figured maybe this wasn't an episode of mom overreacting and maybe the guy did something wrong

Next day (sunday morning)

i get a phone call from dad which was mainly about work stuff and after we were done i ask him about the previous day

Dad: abadan yabny omak fehmet ghalat (nothing son, your mom misunderstood) he was quite calm actually
me:well, she seemed like she was enraged
Dad: asl heya la2et 3elbet viagra kont gayebha li ankelak (A) 3ashan howa beyetkesef yotlob men doctor (R) (she found a box of viagra that i had brought to uncle (A) [who happens to be his best friend] because (A) is embarresed to ask doctor (R) [another pharmasist friend of theirs]
me: ya ragel uncle (A) bardo??!!! (for Uncle (A) you say?)
Dad: yes and i told her so but she want's to believe otherwise
me: well... i wouldn't believe you (she has her reasons to doubt)
Dad: normally she may have had but not in that case, to start the box was sealed, not to mention that doctors forbid me from using it because of my heart, and she knows that!!! plus if i wanted to hide it don't you think i would have found a better place than than the glove compartment? (in our line of business you learn how to hide stuff)
me: well you might have a point, did you tell her?
dad: i told her, but she doesn't wanna believe me
me: she will, just give her time, i think

so there you have it folks, it's not enough that they are very incompatable and that they mix like oil and ice tea, now we have my dad's close friend (A) and pfizer to worry about as well, god bless pharmaceuticals and horny mid-life men

another reason why i believe my dad is that he is my dad, therfore we don't need viagra :D

this reminds me of a parody song by [flight of the conchords] called "business time" in which the guy says:

making love
making love for
making love for twoooooo
making love for twooooooooo minutes

when it's with me, you only need two minutes..... because I'M INTENSE

two minutes in heaven.......... is better than one minute in heaven (LOL)

so do you believe PAPA???? actually i do because he did have surgey without telling us at all ( i found out when i was looking around in his desk for some work related stuff a year later and found his will he had wrote and explaination for what to do after he's gone) so it's not just a lame "oh my weak heart" parental excuse


still breathing said...

haha..that really cracked me up!! ur parents r ms7'ara asln!!

e7na lma kan fi 7'n2at 3andena kano by7'laso either in hospital or police stations, not on the phone!

Kareem, u read eleven minutes?

KareemFromEgypt said...

paulo cohello's eleven minutes?

it's next on my reading list though, it was recomended by a good friend


still breathing said...

coz in it he says it originally was 7 minutes..and now u r saying 2! very frustrating u know.

and yea it is a wonderful book...but u have to read it to the end or start from the 2nd half.