Saturday, June 03, 2006

Yearning


As I was writing today’s date for some work related thing I found myself remembering the fabulous (F)


Don’t know if it was the warm weather, the fact that we hooked up in summer around late June, the fact that her birthday was last month and I didn’t call ( I haven’t called in two years)


Remembering her bothered me and for about 10 minutes I was frowning and in a very bad mood, I let it go after 10 minutes but again I am not appreciative of the fact that I remember her till now. It was supposed to be a one night stand, granted it was a two-night stand but still, I always prided myself in being able to keep viewing things as they were, in their right size, and I have always succeeded in doing so.


Remembering your flings is usually a pleasant feeling, it helps you give your ego a much needed boost sometimes, I never felt the need to forget about one of my past relationships whether it was just a fling or a full fledged romance, never had an eternal sunshine of the spotless mind moment where all the memories got too much to handle

And I know the reason we didn’t continue our fling (it had potential) was that the social gap was too big, I didn’t see any future for this and I hated holding her back. Oooh and I was seeing someone at the moment


I don’t know if this is the first time for me to admit to cheating, it’s not an easy thing to admit to cheating on your partner, someone that you care for deeply and might have even loved at the time (everybody has his moments). I was never caught, something that alarmed me very much, how was I able to have (F) in my arms then 1 hour later welcome my girlfriend back from her trip and never even be doubted for a moment? And if I had that in me then what was to stop me later? I don’t want to be a cheating husband, don’t want to grow up like my dad who is my role model in business and having fun but not in matters of commitment and monogamy


And something else, like the song “cheat on you” by Ma$e “just you can cheat they can cheat” and that bothered me too, if I was doing so then maybe she was doing the same back to me, not saying I didn’t deserve being cheated on, just that I didn’t notice anything incriminating, and I trust my power of observation in these matters


Is cheating and not getting caught a talent or a skill? that's a good question, (are good cheaters born or made?)


So moving back to (F) and why we didn’t hook up, I guess it’s way too late now to think about it or even reminisce, but I wonder what if?


The phenomenal trend that is blogging allows you to judge a person’s character on some level before your judgment is skewed by their looks, status or attitude but that’s a different story altogether for next post

17 comments:

Crazy Girl said...

grr cheating! I think cheaters are made. Cheating is a choice not something your forced in to. If you feel like cheating why not call your gf/bf and brake it off and than go on to other options..

KareemFromEgypt said...

u didn't get my point ya jazz

i asked are GOOD cheaters made or born


of course the decision is entirely up to the person, what i meant was the people who are able to cheat and not feel guilty about it (not show anything that would eventually expose them)

i am not condoning cheating and not saying i don't regret having cheated before, bas it was an educating experience nonetheless

Hanouma said...

good cheaters are made of course but the question u asked before , is cheating or infedility a decision or not? that's what i wanna know?

i understand that it's a decision but sometimes u r forced to take it, forced by ureself and by other things in life.

i read one that infedility comes in Genes and i do believe this, it's for males and females.

when u cheat on someone once u might repeat it even if u feel guilty, sometimes u can't stop and i saw many cases like this.

i wish u could not repeat it ( had3eelak matkararhash) bcoz if u r married and it's not easy to leave ure wife or kids, it will be a habbit like so many friends i have and can't stop cheating.

KareemFromEgypt said...

it's a decision of course

some people are more prone to cheat of course (genetically) and i applaud the ones who don't

i'm not married hanouma, i am the extreme opposite of married actually

i hope i don't do it, i plan not to repeat it ISA

Alluring said...

Good cheaters are made alright, you become good by practice, practice makes perfect like they say.

I can't and won't ever judge you, we're humans, and we make mistakes, but ponder on this:
Episode one: You cheated, your gf found out and forgave you.
Episode two: You found out that your gf cheated on you.
would you forgive her?

I think the answer to that question alone would make any one think twice before they decide to cheat on their partners. Although i agree that sometimes shit happens, but when a person has a strong will, if 10 naked women showed up on his doorstep with their legs open, he can always decide on the right thing.

Excuse my bluntness, but infidelity is a sensitve issue. I'm no angel; and I admit i have done that more than once, had one here and the other in Dubai or Egypt, was never caught once, the feeling of guilt never attacked me, it only did way later in life. None of the relationships worked out of course, i always felt that since i cheated on one of them, then definitley he's not good for me.

Damn that was a long comment!!
didn't i tell you that infedility is a sensitive issue :P

KareemFromEgypt said...

of course practice helps but it goes beyond that (some are just born good cheaters)

as for the 2 episodes i always felt that infidelity is something that you might be able to forgive but it differs from one case to another (the circumstances that led to the infidelity) not all cases are forgivable, and in truth i haven't been put in that situation before (i had doubts but never had concrete evidence)


FUCK THAT, if 10 naked women showed at my door step with their legs open i'd SELL my partner and use the money to get a video camera and a box of viagra :D


ur right about if u cheated then they are not good for you, but it could also be that you're not good enough for them (matestahleesh/matestahelsh)

it's refreshing to find a girl admitting to being unfaithful, i'm sick of the holier than thou attitude i get slapped with everytime i mention that sensitive topic

hey!!! first time not to call me koko

Pazuzu said...

LoL ok I'll call you koko if you miss it that much, but then again, maybe not, Kareem's much better !

Anyway, about your question, and from MY point of view.
I've seen cheaters and liars and all that, everybody has. But the problem's that we are trying to find that (inexistant) thin line between the "good" and the "bad".
Being a good cheaters is not 100% made or 100% talent. You see cheating is merely a sort of intelligence, the sort of intelligence we refer to when all other options don't provide us security (most of the time we lie to protect, but sometimes we lie to get something in particular). A good liar (or cheater), is someone who is able to controle his own body in a way to avoid some unwanted changes, and a good cheater is also someone that creates good surrounding conditions in order to protect his lie. Both capacities are something that we can only master in case we already have the potential to, but at the same time it's something that needs alot of practice and most of all we "need to need it". Sort of like the first cell in a body it's called totipotent, it can be anything, but as it divides the resulting cells will start to specilies, they only express part of the potential the initial one had but the latter had no means to use it because the right conditions hadn't combined to allow that.


That's MY answer to YOUR question. But I have something else to say (I might be talking to much, but it's your fault you previously encouraged me to express myself, bare the consequences!) When you ask such a question, and considering the overall atmosphere of your blog entry, it gives us (readers) the impression that your question is about how much "choice" we have in becoming cheaters or not. And from what I know, we are lots of things at the same time. We are the result of the way we grow up, the things that shape our life. Not that we are "choiceless" we can change alot of things in us, but then we wouldn't be ourselves anymore, changing our personality is not like changing a dress, it's more like amputating a leg, not only it's painful and dangerous, it's also ugly.


Now one more note.
I never cheating on anyone (my only romances were never relationships, but mutual attractions, and they lasted nothing less then a couple of weeks). So I can't really say I know what its like. But I do lie alot, I lie like I breathe. I like to think that I hurt no one with my lies, but that's not true, and in the case of cheating it's automatically associated with hurting others, and that's probably true. I don't know how to explain it, when you are stuck in a situation, it's hard to live up to your "high standards", this is no justification for failing our standards, (I am trying very hard, but the idea I am trying to explain is impossible to explain hehe).
Look I might be many years younger, and definitly less experienced in life as you are, and you have probably reached this conclusion before me. But what I want to tell you is, you were not bad or evil, maybe you were not as good as you wanted to be, but you were still good enough to see what you did as it was, and not just finding a way to blame the ladies (the two other girls involved) for what you did. And afterall, when we are not armed against these mistakes, they always tell us that we can't be perfect, but it's always in the context of making minor mistakes, but sometimes our mistakes are beyond our own capacities to forgive ourselves, but then a mistake is just a mistake, we rarely have what it takes to avoid it. Your mistake wasn't so bad, were I to be one of the women involved, and were I to discover what you did, maybe my opinion would have been different, but I don't see your mistake as that bad.

(I'm so definitly sure this post is going to be so LONG!!)

Sand-E Sez said...

It's been my experience that if you're totally commited in a non-literal way then chances are you wont even think twice about staying faithfull. The problem comes up when you're not totally satisfied or in the relationship for the wrong reasons. The moment you loose that control over yourself where you become susseptable to the temptation is the moment you need to break all attachments. You need to sit urself down and really ask urself why you dont want the person you're with to find out if you're cheating or not. If the reason is big enough then fess up and face the music if not then let it go.

Cup of Malice said...

I can see that we have a few sensitive people in the house, so I will make a superhuman effort to be tactful.

Fidelity or the lack thereof is, in my humble opinion, neither ingrained nor learned. It is an opportunistic capitalisation on a situation that presents itself multiplied by the concurrent level of hormonal activity in a given individual. Pure biology and statistics.

As for 'Good' cheaters, I think thouse are the people who possess two fundamental skills;
1. The ability to predict the responses of their partners / spouses in the majority of given circumstanses
2. The ability to lie convincingly.

At the end of the day, being loyal or committed is a matter of self restraint and nothing more, realising that sex is a momentary pleasure and that a single act of indescretion can obliterate your own faith in other peoples trustworthiness for ever and ever amen.

Now, the above spiel is only dedicated to those of you out there who consider themselves upstanding citizens, had i been in Kareem's position (bearing in mind that I actually know the second party in the affair), I would have invited friends over and broken out the whipped cream.

KareemFromEgypt said...

pazuzu: why do you say you are less experienced, how old do you think i am? i'm old for my age anyway

sand-e-sez: you hit the nail on it's head spot on

COM: interesting view, you weren't always like that, big city life getting to you?

p.s the socond party (F) was hot indeed. i was out of whipped cream though.
friends? public displays of whipped cream are too much for me

johny bravo said...

good cheaters are not born i guess, may be they had somethg inherited inthem that motivate for playing around,no matter how ur partner is satisfactory.Some say it's a nature that tends to have it all,egoistic self that always practises its self-perception of irressitable magic on the other sex by cheating & flirting,just a matter of asserting that I'm irressitable,charming & can't say- no-to type of person.
When there's a will,there's always a way,so good cheaters for me are just people who have an objective & work perfectly for it.
I personally never cheated on a partner in the mere sense of having two partners at one time, but i cheated on other sense,that's,sometimes i didn't have true deep feelings to that one,but my words & actions indirectly indicate i'm emotionally involved.It was hard for me to let someone down or say no when he likes me,so i tended to silently approve it which made thgs harder & complicated later on,always end up in hard feelings.Now i'm more stronger to say no if i really don't feel otherwise.

Pazuzu said...

I don't know how old you are kareem, I remember that you were playing "guess how old I am" with someone on a previous entry, but I didn't know your age. However you are certainly older than I am, you're already working :P

spanish_moza said...

I think this is an interesting post indeed....ummmm I think a cheater is made... by the circumstances, but never born.
Even being a pure soul, you can be driven to cheat for a lot of reasons...and you can find it surprisingly easy. Anyway, I think that cheating on somebody in the end is cheating on yourself. After all, there's no great achievement in lying to somebody who loves you and trusts you. I think you are tempted to cheat if and only if your partner is not the right one. I guess that if you find the right person you forget about everything (and everybody) else.

Alluring said...

Sorry ya koko, will never do that again :P

And i was sure you'd say that (regarding the 10 women thingy) typical male behaviour :P
But only very in love people would stay faithful.

And yeah, i have no problem in admitting that i was unfaithful in a certain stage of my life. Women are no angels yanni, i did worse things believe me, i had two of them in the same town, and met one and went out, and then went to the other and had fun too...had to dump both for being so stupid; they believed i was faithful, i guess they were blind with love :D

Love, the answer to all our dilemmas...

Damn did i just say that???
yeah well..whatever!

KareemFromEgypt said...

pazuzu: i don't know why i thought you were older, late 20's kamaan, not that it matters anyway

Some people are born with better lying genes spanish mozza, some are more selfish than others and it's not always how they were raised.

LOLO: love the answer to all our dilemmas? what happened? THAT"S IT, no more sniffing glue for you LOLO, love is the reason for all our dilemmas ya 3abeeta, or as u said, whatever

Herlock Sholmes said...

cheating is a short term thing. No way anyone can cheat for a long time and not get caught..

Shit, I just realized how late I am... This post is almost a month old

KareemFromEgypt said...

better late than never herlock

interesting blog you have there

i think some never do, but that's mainly because the other party involved doesn't want to see the signs, i've seen it, everybody else knows and she/he would know too if he paid a little bit of attention, yet they don't

some people enjoy being stupid